What to do when yoga brings up resentment for your body

Explore how to access kindness and curiosity in this critical moment as you build compassion for yourself

No one wanted this post.

If you missed it, I did a vote a few weeks back on which posts you wanted in the TSS. The feedback made me laugh.

Only one person voted for this, and it was the post I wanted to write the most. So, I wrote on the other awesome topics first. In fact, catch last week’s post for info on the Summer Retreat happening this coming week on 6/21.

The company, practices, food, and goodies are going to be top notch! There is still space for you to join us rain or shine because we have covered facilities for an outdoor practice in the afternoon.

But, I still want to explore this vulnerable, tough, and uncomfortable topic because it’s real.

Several students have come to me and said nearly the same thing - “I didn’t expect for yoga to make me hate my body.”

What they’ve described is being frustrated, anger, mad, and shocked that something they thought would make them feel great is making them feel terrible.

They talk about different injuries, diagnoses, and pains that impact the movement practices of yoga. But they all come back to talking about this feeling of resentment.

And, I’ve noticed that I’ve felt it too.

We feel restricted in a liberating practice.

We worry about not accessing the right version of a pose in a practice that isn’t about perfection or conformity.

We wish for past or future health in a practice that asks for presence.

It hurts!

We want to blame and shame our bodies for this betrayal. We hate that our expectations weren’t met - that yoga wasn’t all butterflies and naps.

Instead, we’ve entered a portal to deeper knowing, acceptance, and empowerment. I think it feels like that meme that talks about the universe giving you exactly what you asked for and not being prepared. (I couldn’t find me memes this week!)

So, what we do in these moments matters most. It’s an invite, a chance, and an opportunity (insert all the eye rolls, as if dealing with this is some gift….. I know, it is hard too) to understand the resentment and maybe find something kinder within.

When you notice resentment towards your body coming up in any movement expression, here are some ideas for working with that feeling:

• Validate the feeling. Our bodies change in ways we expect and in ways we don’t expect or want. That impacts how we move, feel, and live. It is going to bring feelings. Maybe that validation is allowing tears and grief from what the body used to be and how it used to feel. Maybe that validation is stomping feet and moving the arms (in a safe space) to meet that anger. Maybe the validation comes from a self embrace and rocking the body. Or maybe you hit that resentment with some stylish self love through cute outfits, tattoos, or piercings.

• Check in to see if this feeling is stemming from any one part of the body. Perhaps it is part of an injury, a new sensation from a new area, or an overall frustration. From there try to breathe in and around the space you’ve identified. The goal is to connect and sense rather than to remove or force. This practice could lead you to asking what this space/sensation needs or where it comes from.

• Remember that yoga isn’t just movement. When movement isn’t accessible or wanted, there are other ways to practice yoga. Maybe take it as an inviting challenge to reframe how you think about yoga. Use your breath, focus, and self study practices to explore this feeling.

  • Can I love my body as it is?

  • Could (mental + physical) strength be my goal over aesthetics?

  • What if my practice looks different? Is that a threat to me?

  • What made me think my body had to do certain things to practice yoga correctly?

  • How can my practice evolve to fit my needs as I move through life?

• Come back to gratitude. Try these affirmations.

  • I am grateful for mobility.

  • I am grateful for how this body carries me.

  • I am resilient.

  • My body is not the enemy.

Like the post a few weeks back, I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m saying how you choose to respond to this feeling of resentment is important. It’s a choice and example of how you treat yourself.

Your body is not a problem. Yoga is not the problem.

5 Ways I Practiced Yoga Last Week

1. Ahimsa (non-violence): Violence isn’t always physical. I choose nonviolence in a situation that I previously would not have. It’s like the meme I saw this week (but didn’t save) that depicts a character fighting back, noting this is how I used to fight people and it compared to another clip of the character now being verbally attacked and just sitting back and not responding or reacting, commenting how I fight back with people now.

2. Brahmacharya (energy management): I continue to choose what matters most this week, my peace and my family.

3. Satya (truthfulness): I’m holding my truths even in an atmosphere that would rather me deny those truths to keep the artificial peace.

4. Pranayama (breath control): As always, pranayama is the MVP. I learned a new breathing technique that I’m teaching paid subscribers this week in the longer edition of this post.

5. Asana (movement): In addition to leading a few classes, I utilized yoga mobility while updating my house!

5 Ways You Can Practice Yoga This Week

1. Ahimsa (non-violence): Notice where/when you are violent or want to be violent.

2. Brahmacharya (energy management): Make active decisions throughout the day that reflect how you want to spend your energy.

3. Satya (truthfulness): Express one truth to yourself or others that guides you into your authentic expression without hiding or masking due to fear.

4. Pranayama (breath control): Pause and take 3 long breathes every time you feel strong reactions and feelings moving through you.

5. Asana (movement): Roll your shoulders down and back, imagining there were small weights pressing the shoulders down out of the ears. Let your hands rest, palms-open next to your hips. Lift your arms up, palms moving toward each other overhead while still rolling both shoulders down. Add in arm circles, salutations, or mantras as your repeat the movement or create your own flow.

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