Yoga for Heartbreak - 2/9

Consistently choosing love means repairing over and over. Practicing yoga has provided me a soft path towards approaching my mistakes, grief, and guilt.

As I write this, I’ve turned on Noah Kahan’s song “Youngblood,” because I wanted to hear these words:

“And if you want, I can tell you the truth, that this life takes a toll on you, I spend nights stitching up the loose threads of my soul, in the morning I’m bulletproof.”

I think the hardest part about being an adult is feeling and witnessing the heartbreak all around us. It’s strange to be expected to see and accept it. It never feels quite normal.

Yet, I know many of us are all stitching ourselves up at night, applying antiseptic to wounds that busted open during the day’s battle, and recharging so we can lead with courage tomorrow.

I like to think of it like Kintsugi, the Japanese art of mending objects with gold. We keep adding beauty to the world when we repair ourselves instead of believing that we are broken and worthless.

Repair is hard work. It takes vulnerability and grace at a time that we are often feeling overwhelmed and susceptible to shame taking over with a defensive shield.

The words I started hearing in yoga practices have given me access to repairing my relationship with myself.

It’s there that I first heard things like:

• It’s ok to fall or fail

• Yoga isn’t about perfection

• Your body doesn’t have to prove anything

• You can be kind to yourself

From these words and many others that I’ve gathered up like little gems, I have found a path back to love.

I’ve found space to process what forgiveness means to me as I work to stop cycles of harm.

I’ve created intimacy with my grief and shame, enough to know they are just afraid of loosing love. And that I understand, losing love is heart breaking.

Because I don’t think we will ever experience a world without heartbreak, may we keep choosing love; may we keep practicing repair; and may we see the beauty in our lessons.

5 Ways I Practiced Yoga Last Week

1. Dharana (concentration): On campus this week, we worked on focus and movement in our sessions. We practiced balance poses to connect to the breath and bring us into the present moment.

2. Tapas (self-discipline): Exercise has always helped me. But, I can also look back and see ways certain practices likely weren’t supportive to sustained strength and body love. Over the last nine weeks, I’ve committed to lifting at least three times per week. This practice makes me feel strong. Staying consistent with this practice is part of my self love.

3. Ahimsa (non-harming): Like most weeks, I made mistakes this week. Nothing that couldn’t be fixed, but enough to be annoyed with myself - forgetting things between bags and offices, locking myself out between the house and car, posting the wrong year on assignments, and a few other oopsies. I’m grateful that I’m in a place where I can see that these mistakes didn’t cause harm, they don’t define me, and I’m still have value to this world when I make mistakes. It took a while to reframe beliefs from childhood that mistakes made me dumb, worthless, and troublesome. Yoga helps me choose kindness rather than harm towards myself.

4. Pranayama (breathing): I continued to use my pre-class ritual of three breaths to center and move through the week. I use the first breath to clear out anything pulling my attention. With the second breath, I hold myself in transitions. And, the third breath moves me into the present moment with focus on the class.

5. Asana (postures/physical movement): On Saturday, I attended a class led by Molly Engelman at Current Bliss Yoga. Molly is working on her 200 hour teacher training. The class focused on hips, and Molly’s guidance was playful, inquisitive, and kind. The balance between stillness and quiet with laughter and dynamic movement made the class feel alive, real, and connected. It is always so awesome to be a student and to join friends and community in flow to start the weekend. Thank you, Molly!

5 Ways You Can Practice Yoga This Week

1. Dharana (concentration): Create something with your hands to express your love. Our hands our an extension of our hearts, love in action. Notice what it feels like to stay present as you play, create, and express.

2. Tapas (self-discipline): Commit to loving yourself. Decide you’re worthy of giving and receiving love. Then put it into practice daily.

3. Ahimsa (non-harming): Remember that forgiveness is not universally defined. You are not causing harm by cutting off those who harm you. You are protecting yourself from harm - there’s no guilt in that. Sadness? Yes. Guilt? No.

4. Pranayama (breathing): Create a three count inhale as you repeat, “I (breathe) Love (breathe) you (hold)”, exhale long and slow. Repeat.

5. Asana (postures/physical movement): Take a class this week, guided by someone else. That could be online or in person if you have access to a studio. Remember many studios have access options for those that may find classes cost prohibitive.